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This is a link to my Storybook: Advice for Lovers









Image Information:
Red candles
Posted by: Briana Blair

Found on: Brianadragon


Comments

  1. Howdy howdy, hope all is well. You have certainly set yourself apart with this project it seems – it is an interesting concept to have these two individuals writing in the first person, addressing the reader. I wonder how that will work over-time in the semester, I am excited to watch it develop. What brought about this idea in your mind? It seems fairly specific, was there any specific reading that made you want to pursue this idea? I’m excited to see the ideas and principles laid out in this way; I feel like pretty consistently the entries we have read are full of very applicable ideas and concepts, but they’re somewhat cumbersome to try to unpack. So, it seems your project will do a great job of pulling wisdom from the background reading and restating it in a very colloquial and relatable way. It’ll be a fun project to work on no doubt, best of luck.

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  2. Hi there! First off I love the setup of your project! The color scheme on your home page is really warm and definitely fits the theme you have chosen. I was not expecting this idea when reading our introduction--I originally imagined a project full of love stories. I love your idea of having advice for couples, and it seems like you picked two of the best gods to do it: Rati and Kama. I liked hearing about the backstory of these two gods in your introduction. I had never heard of them before. This theme seems very original. I think it would have been original with just one god giving advice, but two will lead to even more possibilities! This will especially be the case if Rati and Kama disagree about certain subjects, and I have a feeling they will. I just feel like you have so many possibilities to choose from as you move from your introduction, and I am excited to learn the direction of your project as the semester progresses!

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  3. Grayce,

    First things first- the premise for your project is very interesting. I'm excited to see how you convey the relationship of the god of love from two different perspectives. Are you especially qualified for such a task? Good luck.

    The first page of your project looks great. Simply seeing that picture and "Epic Love Guide" in the top left corner immediately conveyed what your project is about. When looking at your introduction, I noticed that you have a single sentence hidden away in a collapsible text box. You should just make that a normal text box. I feel that that single sentence is actually really important because it explains why you then read two letters. That said, I think it would be best to have the two letters in the same format/layout. They currently feel entirely separate. The change in font style, font size, and centering, and the fact that the second letter is separated from everything else by the red band, makes the second letter feel like it is tacked on as an afterthought. In my mind, letters tend to be narrow but long. Could you include a picture of Rati next to her letter to stretch the words more vertically? I would also make the letters left justified because no one centers everything while writing. The second letter just doesn't feel like a letter right now, but a few of these tiny changes can fix that.

    In terms on the writing, I think you did really well. Letters lend themselves to informal, personal messages. Both letters are perfect- you're succinct and convey all of the information. If I had to change something, I would recommend that you use "so" left often. I'm also not sure that you need to capitalize entire words. Yet if you do want to keep that, I would recommend that you change "I am here to guide you in your romantic affairs" to "Let me solve your romantic problems." The capital letters lend themselves to a sort of cockiness that a god could potentially have.

    Nice job. I'm excited to see where you go from here.

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  4. Grayce! First of all I would like to comment on the overall design of the website. It's very conserved and simple, which makes the overall aesthetic of it very clean and to the point. Of course, when speaking about the overall design of your website, I would also have to talk about your choices of color and pictures in regard to the welcome and introduction pages. All in all, the welcome page's image is simple and warm in color, which makes it match the aesthetics of the page as well as directing the reader's eyes into something that you wanted them to see.

    In terms of the overall context of your project, it definitely stands out from the rest in terms of the goals that you are trying to set for the rest of the work. It's quite interesting to see that the page itself is held by two sets of eyes, being the gods of love. What I'm wondering is that, will you have to set it up in terms of you both having two different personalities when it comes to advice? Or is it all complementary of each other? When you say that you're taking in "love problems" do you mean to actually take it from the audience or is this all part of the story itself? I think it would be interesting either way!

    I hope to see more of this page in the future!

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  5. Hey Grayce,
    I love the general format of your introduction, it was very pleasing to look at and I believe it can contribute to your concept. I think your formatting makes it look a lot like a newspaper sections, like those advice columns. The only formatting critique I have is that your subtitle was within a drop down menu. I think it should be shown off without having to go in and using the drop down. I really liked both of your letter introductions, it helped introduce your plan for the project as well as your characters really well. The only thing I would consider adding is to the God Kama. You talk about the origin of Rati a bit and I think you could do the same with Kama. If you add just some more background info on Kama I think that could help strengthen your introduction.

    I am very interested to see where this will go.

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  6. Hi Grayce!

    I absolutely LOVE your concept for your storybook! I love that Kamadeva and Rati are narrating the storybook together. I think you bring so much personality and fun to their characters with the style of your writing. I also like the formatting of your introduction. It allows us to read notes from both of the narrators, and the different text styles and sizes between the two is an awesome touch. It was clear that Rati and Kama have an amazing relationship because of your great ability to portray their love for each other. It was funny that they both have different goals for this storybook; Rati’s being the happiness of the people involved in the relationship, and Kama’s being the preservation of the longevity of relationships. The advice/ gossip column idea is great, and there are so many things you can get creative with. I am excited to keep up with your storybook. Amazing work!

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  8. Hi Grayce!
    Wow!!! I love the concept you were able to create out of this project I would truly read this blog if I found it while searching around google one day. I even have it saved to bookmarks so I can come back and read what you are able write for your stories. The pictures you have chosen make you feel very warm inside the same way love is supposed to make you feel all warm inside. The fact that your introduction was a small story in itself is genius and I am jealous that I was not able to come up with an idea like yours! You are such a talented writer I can not wait to see what else you post on your epic love story story book! There are a lot of things you are able to create with this story book which is very well thought out incase something does not go your way for an assignment.

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  9. I love how you have yours set up it is so funny! It sounds just like a cheesy TV add. This is so great!! I love how you capitalized things like WELL & ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. That is gold! I also enjoy the first-person approach. In school you are never allowed to write in first person so it feels different when you actually do read or write first person academically. I also love that you start Rati’s message with “Greetings Lovers” it makes me think of the Katy Perry song “Greetings loved ones. Let’s take a journey.” Also, I love your format of your website. The color choice a dusty rose pink makes make feel the love. It really feels like a website to help lovers. It is also great experts to help you out if you are having problems with love. Ask a Goddess It just makes sense. This is such a unique idea and I think that you executed it very very well!

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  10. Hey Grayce!! So your website is looking so good! The color scheme looks clean and everything is put together very nicely. When I read your introduction I thought it was so funny. It was great seeing you put so much personality in it. The Gods of love helping solve our problems, such a creative idea from the epics. I think that with this idea you will have so much content to pull from. Even in the Ramayana and in the Mahabharata the love triangles and problems that arise can be used so far. I think that love and relationships are a recurring theme in Indian epics so I am sure that you will be able to add your personality and humor into it. Lastly, I like the dear reader format. It is super creative, also I think that you get to really add your own advice as you see fit which would be really cool

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  11. Hey Grayce!
    Great intro and first story! I really like how you immediately establish two different personalities for the love guides! I do wish that Kama especially kept with his more hopeless romantic vibes, because in his response to "Vengeful Victim" he mentions that the victim can decide to leave his wife. I feel like if Kama is supposed to be the hopeless romantic, then he wouldn't even admit that leaving the wife was an option. If anything, then keeping Kama as the hopeless romantic and Rati as the voice of reason and self-healing could create a really good contrast between their advice! Obviously they might overlap on big decisions, but it could still be for very different reasons. Overall though, I thought you have a really strong theme and really good execution!! Nice!
    Also small error note, in the original letter you say "this giant white elephant that was near my hunt in the woods" and i think you mean "this giant white elephant that was near my HUT in the woods"

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  12. Hi Grayce! Okay... this is awesome! I think what really stands out to me is the layout. The lay out makes each page really easy to understand and follow. I get a better idea of the story and can keep up with who said what. I wonder what would the story would be like if both Rati and Kama gave advice at the same time. Do you think they would still reach their same different opinions, or come to a singular piece of advice? This may be a good question to think of to insure you create a story that keeps their relationship in minds too. What if you added some context into their relationship as well! An example of what I mean is this: "when Rati did something similar to this I wanted to get up and leave but I decided not to because reason A." This allows you to show insight to their relationship and their ups and downs. Overall, awesome job and well done.

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  13. Grayce, I absolutely love the design of your site! It is such a cute, creative concept while also staying true to the stories we're reading. Everything is well written and feels very cohesive to me, making for an enjoyable read. You did a great job at capturing the essences of both Kama and Rati, but I feel like Kama hasn't gotten as much attention as Kama on your site. Maybe you could do a message from Kama, too? Because of your format and the many love triangles of the stories we read, you will have many instances to draw from. Are you going to do familial problems as well or just love issues? Also, do you plan on doing the advice columns for every story? What if you include stories from Kama and Rati to break up the formats? I think it would be cool if you could incorporate both. I look forward to seeing how you progress!

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  14. Hi Grayce,
    I love the design of your website!! It is beautiful and very romantic. All the colors go very nice together. Also, the couple holding hands on the main page is adorable! I love all the silhouette pictures of the couples on all the pages. What a good theme to follow! The introduction kind of reminds me of a column on the front of a newspaper. Is this where you got your inspiration? I know back then, there used to be like columns in newspaper where people could write to and give advice about love. I enjoy the fact that there are two sets of advice, one from Rati and one from Kama. Sometimes, the women are overlooked in these stories. Yay for you for letting her give better rational advice. Poor Vengeful Victim! However, I think there are two ways of going through this as shown by you. Will every story be like this? I also really like the shortness of every story.

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  15. Hello Grayce,
    This a very unique way of telling the different stories. I have not seen anyone do this before. I usually am not interested in love stories but I find (for me) telling them this way is funny. Also the layout and formatting of your site is very interesting. I really like that you used a button for the link to the comment wall. I also like how you have a different background color for the Author's Note.
    I did notice in the author's note you have "kinda of" which is like saying "kind of of." That's the only thing that jumped out at me that didn't sound quite right.
    Also, I noticed you used different font colors for the letter and the god's advice which is a nice way to separate the letter from the advice. I do wonder though, have you considered giving Kama, Rita and the writer of the letter their own color? (For example black for the written letters, pink for Rita's advice and blue for Kama's advice.)

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  16. Hello Grayce, hope you're doing well. I've never seen the name Grayce spelled this way before, by the way! I like it! Anyway, I thought your Epic Love Guide idea was great. It read almost like an advice column from a magazine, which I'm sure was your point. I also liked that instead of only getting one response from both Kamadeva and Rati, you had them both write a response, which gave the reader two different viewpoints on the romantic drama. Your storybook reads sort of like a rom-com, which keeps things light and entertaining. I had forgotten the original plot details of your retelling, so reading your version with little to no idea what was going on made me chuckle. Good thinking to include a summary that would help readers like me refresh their memories!

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  17. I just finished reading your first story Gautama and Ahalya, like you when I first read the story of I also leaned more on Ahalya's side. Therefore, I enjoyed seeing how you chose to focus on Gautama's point of view and how he was feeling. I as read your story, I pictured in my head a radio program where people send their personal stories to and Kama and Rati as the radio hosts giving back advice. The story was very well written and I think you conveyed Gautama's emotions very well and I liked how through the advice we could also get hints in the personalities and ways of thinking of Kama and Rati. I think it would be cool to see one of the Love Gods take the side of the cheater/ the one that did wrong and the other to take the side of the victim, it could be something you could try for the future. There is so many love stories in Indian Epics so I am looking forward to more of your stories!

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  18. Hi Grayce! Your topic really interested me! I'm doing something similar with my storybook too! I'm doing couple interviews and Kamadeva is the interviewer. I like that you made Kamadeva the "love guru" with Rati and that you gave him a nickname too. I like the writing style you used for this too. It's not too formal and it reads like an actual advice column, which makes it fun and easy to read. I also like you gave Rati and Kama different personalities too because we can see how their opinions differ. Cheating is a common situation that's often hard to handle , especially in this story. Kama offers more absurd solutions, but he also validates Gautama's pain. He knows that Gautama is experiencing betrayal and heartbreak and he lets him. In addition, Rati allows the reader to dive deeper in the story. We know that Ahalya has been deceived by Indra, but she gently takes the side of Ahalya and offers a more realistic solution. Since this story is more open ended, I would love a follow up to see what happens next to this couple ! Good job!

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  19. Hiya Grayce, I really really like the layout of your website and first story. By saving the reader from scrolling and scrolling by splitting up the responses, it made it much easier to read. Like others mentioned before, I think the style you chose to write this in fits very well. While advice columns may not be as active today as they used to be, I think it makes these stories very relatable. Also, by throwing in some advice we probably wouldn't see in this day and age (banishment, turning into a rock, etc.), it helps keep us in the mindset that we are reading an Indian Epics storybook, and not just an advice column. I think one addition I would like to see added would be a short, combined answer of Rati and Kama at the end. While they have their own personalities, your premise of people writing in and getting answers could be used just a little more when they give a short, combined answer.

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  20. Hey Grayce!

    First off, I love the concept of your storybook. Personally, I am a big romance person so I thought your storybook was very entertaining and fun to read. Your introduction was awesome. I love how you provided 2 introductions for 2 different point of views. One thing that did throw me off though was that the two introductions were given in different fonts. This isn’t that big of a deal but it threw me off and I found it kind of odd.

    Second, your story was very entertaining to read! It kind of reminded me of a podcast or a reality tv show. I also liked the format of the page. It was very helpful to read the problem first and then have the advice side by side. It made it easier to compare the advice this way and it was also funny to do seeing how the two point of views were very different. Nevertheless, both pieces of advice was helpful and I feel like I can apply the advice to my every day life.

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  21. Hey Grayce,
    I love your storybook so far! I really like that I get to learn more about Kamadeva as I feel like I do not know too much about him or Rati. I love your style of writing it is so engaging and keeps the reader wanting more especially your intro. I am glad you're going off the beaten path and making it your own because so many people just retell stories and not even in a creative way!

    Honestly I think your storybook is coming along really well and I am excited to keep up with you and it. Maybe just some grammar and punctuation things lord knows i need all the help in that department too. Besides that keep up the great work and enjoy the rest of your semester. Also stay healthy and safe!

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  22. Hi Grayce,

    I'm a big fan of your project topic– it is really unique. Both of the epics we have read are full of great romances, and your topic takes advantage of these stories in an interesting way. First off, your homepage looks really good. Your overall site has a nice feel to it– its like I'm on eHarmony or something with all the pictures of couples! It gives your site cohesion. As for your stories, it seems like you put a lot of thought into the topic itself. Having the two different perspectives of Kamadeva and Rati adds so much to your stories; it stops them from being too one-track minded. I haven't read many advice columns, but you have captured many of the tropes that I've encountered in the few that I have read. A new topic you could do is a follow up from Rama about his feelings after saving Sita from Ravana. I found that portion of the Ramayana difficult to read due to the emotions involved, and it would be great if you explored those complex feelings in one of your advice columns!

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  23. Hello!

    I thought you’re project idea was so creative and well made. It always amazes me how creative people can be when they take some time to think about it. Your first story, “My Wife Cheated On Me” was a great read. I’m pretty sure you were referring to Ganesha and I can see both sides of the story. From the wife’s POV, she really thought it was her husband. Plus, impersonation isn’t an uncommon thing in these Indian epics. From the husband’s side, I can understand why he’s upset. What’s worse is how he had to learn about the betrayal from other people instead of straight from his own wife. The wife definitely should have told him. I really liked all these small details that you included; it adds a lot of elements to the story. With Kama’s advice, I was surprised as to how he strongly believed in revenge as well as how he said “you will both be ready to love again.” I don’t think that’s good advice. Once a cheater always a cheater. Don’t get back with her Vengeful Victim! I enjoyed Rati’s advice more just because she says recommends that he should hear the whole story. Gods definitely can be cruel and thoughtless. I enjoyed reading your first story! Keep up the great work.

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  24. Hi again Grayce!

    I had to come back and see what you have been able to come up with for this project! The was you have been able to play around with the formatting on your website is brilliant. This project truly seems like it is an advice column in a magazine or newspaper. In your stories I am always entranced and taken to whatever place you are talking about. I have no words of advice your for because I think these are perfect the way they are. The was you were able to take some comments considerations and combining Kama and Rita in the second story is amazing. I think it would be interesting if your were to link some specific examples into your second story as well. In your story you say, "Study classic texts and give offerings to the deities". It would be cool if you were to find some examples on wikipedia for the people who are writing in! I will be back to view your third story because I love this project so much! Keep up the fantastic work.

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  25. Hi Grayce!
    My portfolio surrounds the theme of love, so I was eager to see how you portrayed this theme in a different way. I loved how you told this story from the perspective of Kamadeva, almost like a therapist of all things love. In the introduction I loved how you conveyed how there are different opinions of love. For example, Kamadeva's view of leaving each other if it is not meant to be, versus Daksha's view of making love work at whatever cost. I made me evaluate my own views on this matter. In the first story, we see the saga of a character who has just been cheated on sending a letter to the love god, and one can almost hear the pain in the words. I love how in the advice, Kama tries to put himself in the shoes of the writer, as he compares it to if Rati were to cheat on him. I also love how the advice is not what an ordinary shrink would say to a client. Some of the advice was shocking, as Kama wished revenge onto the situation. Great work!!

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  26. Hey Gracyce! So after going through your website, I can honestly say that you had one of the most appealing website designs. The stories you told were done in a fantastic fashion. The letters is a unique design. I for one cannot write good letters and I focused on creating elaborate stories. But since you created love stories, it was awesome to see how well you translated these stories into letters!
    Great work an enjoy the rest of your semester!

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  27. Grayce,

    Like everyone else in this comment section, I found the formatting and layout of your storybook to be very intriguing and, if I do say so myself, ~aesthetically pleasing~. It made everything so clear and easy to read. I also thought the title of your second story was so cute! It reminded me of the "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" commercials (Life Alert if you aren't familiar, haha). I'm not sure if you intended for that to be a play on words but I caught on either way. I know you probably won't be getting to add a third story to this project, but I'm going to make a suggestion anyway! I think adding a modernized story would have been really fun. Nowadays, Tinder and matching websites are made for all ages and types of people (i.e. farmers, Christians, etc.). They are the newest and most advanced ways of finding a soulmate, and I thought something "Tinder inspired" would have been a really entertaining theme.

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