Week 2 Story: The King and the Hungry Village
Many years ago, there lived a king. He was a mighty king that was feared by both his subjects and his enemies. The king was determined to pass on his legacy on to his two sons, the princes of the kingdom. Not long after the princes were born, a revolt began in the village. No rain had fallen in many months. The land was dry, and the towns people were starving. They looked to the mighty king for help, but he offered none. He and his sons continued to feast while the villagers were forced to ration. The once peaceful town was now filled with violent peasants. For the first time the king was afraid. His sons were young and very fat. If they wandered into the village, they would be killed. The king gave an order to his men, “My sons are no longer allowed to leave the palace! You must build them a great courtyard to keep them away from the village. Fill this courtyard with beautiful animals and games. Make sure they never want to leave!”
And so, the great courtyard was built. The princes grew older and fatter. They eventually forgot about the village that lay outside the courtyard. Their world was small, and after many years, they became bored. They had played all the games and seen all the animals. They soon began to demand to be let out of the enclosure. The king was now old and cripple. He could not leave his bed, but he told the guards, “Find a way to entertain the princes! Go out into the forest and find something magical to bring into the courtyard. The princes cannot go into the village!”
The villagers heard of the king’s declaration. They decided that this was their chance to get revenge on the king. When the guards entered the forest, a small group of villagers were waiting for them. One of the villagers spoke, “Hello sirs. We have heard about your task for the princes! We are wanting to make peace with the king. As a sign of our apology, we would like to help with your task. Please, take these sprites to the courtyard. They are magic beings that will provide endless hours of entertainment for the young princes! They talk, sing, and can play many different games. This is our gift to the kingdom.”
The guards were desperate to please their king, so they were easily swayed by the villager’s words. They collected the sprites and brought them into the courtyard. For a few days, the princes were happy. They played fun games with the sprites and watched them perform many magical tricks. The sprites had one secret trick that was particularly powerful. They could make the earth rumble. The princes learned of this magic and knew that it was their chance to escape the courtyard. They asked the sprites to make the earth rumble as hard as they could. The sprites, who loved mischief, agreed.
The ground began to move. Soon the whole world was shaking. The walls that the king had built around the boys began to tumble. The boys ran out of their enclosure. They were finally free. But, waiting outside of the courtyard was a group of villagers. For the first time in many years, they got to see the princes. The starving villagers looked at the fat princes and became furious.
That night, the entire village feasted on a mysterious meal. When they went to sleep, their bellies were full, and they were happy.
Original Story (bibliography): "The Turtle and The King" from Jataka Tales by Ellen C. Babbitt
Author's Note: I ended up changing quite a bit about this story! At first, I didn't want to change this much, but the story kind of got away from me. Oops. I wanted to create more background for the king and princes. I also changed the turtle to sprites. I did this because I wanted the villagers to have a way to get the princes out of the courtyard. I figured that a turtle might not be strong enough to knock down some stone walls.
Image Information:
"Angry Mob" by Michael C. Johnston
Hello Grayce!
ReplyDeleteI've never read the original story but I really like your version! I think you did a great job of not only setting up the story, but also being detailed to make sure readers could follow along. One part of your story that really stood out to me was the beginning. You made it very easy to visualize what was happening because of the details you included in each sentence. I think details are important because everyone write a story following a basic plot but you really made your story come alive.
Something I was curious about while reading your story was why the boys never tried to escape beforehand. Did they love their courtyard that much or were they just stupid and ignorant of the outside world? I think that could be something cool to go into further detail about!
Also, what if you changed the ending where the princes were welcomed with opened arms and ended up helping the citizens defeat starvation? That would be an interesting plot twist.
I like that you showed not tell us the audience why the people were angry. They did not have food and they were starving. And I love how the sons are young and fat and that is obviously very disturbing for the village people to see their gluttony. Overall I think that you did a great job with this story.
ReplyDeleteHi Grayce!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic story you have written here I really like how you were able to take a very short story from the original and create this longer version so well! It was very interesting to read your version versus the one you based yours off of! However, when it came to the first paragraph I felt like there could be a little more description and not as many short sentences. For example, "No rain had fallen in many months. The land was dry, and the towns people were starving. They looked to the mighty king for help, but he offered none". In this sentence I would love to get a better perspective of what the people were going through on a day to day basis. I wonder if making a few little changes such as this would create a more in-depth story for your readers and help create a greater image in their mind!
Hi Grayce!
ReplyDeleteI think you wrote a really great story! I also like how you took this story and turned it to one with a different perspective. One thing that I think would help stories like this grow is to give a narrative to each character. Also, some more interaction between the villagers and the princes could help with the ending as well! We know how the villagers felt, but not much about the princes. How did they feel about being outside for the first time? Seeing the villagers and how starved they looked? Did they feel bad for them, or were they just scared for their lives? These are the questions that the reader could have. There also could be some confusion with spelling, I think "spirit" was spelled as "sprite" frequently. Overall, I think this was a really good story, and I like how the ending was both ambiguous and clear at the same time!